For the past 2 days, I've been so depressed. I don't know why either. Yesterday I just had a breakdown. I was outside in The Square and I was waiting for Jenn to stop talking to that bitch Jeanette and by the time she had come back over, I was hugging Goat, shaking. As we were leaving, I stood in my spot and just started sobbing. As to why I have no idea. What I did want to do though was to just go to Brian's house, knock on his door and just crawl into his bed and sleep forever. He's going through a really rough time right now too so the last thing he needs is me breaking down in his house. I can't figure out what the hell is wrong with me, but it's gotten me crying all the time now. Yesterday I left school early just because I really didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be around people, so I came home and got online for a bit before Vickie and I met up.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me...

-- Tammy

I don't know what to do anymore. However yesterday I was spazzing out over the Psychology project, we ended up getting an A today! I was so happy! No thanks to Sean! The damn idiot. Okay so I don't know what to do. I really like Derrick. A LOT. In fact I'll put his picture here along with that hot picture of his hand if I can find it. I might just get his face. Anyway, I really like him. He's 17 (which is illegal for me but hey what can ya do?) and lives in Illinois. It's upsetting me that he lives so far. But OMG he is so sweet! I love his voice, too. But I don't know what to do because I don't want to get into another relationship for a while. I've been so hurt lately that I just can't deal with another one. He's asked me out a few times and every time so far I've shut him down. Maybe I should give it a shot? We'll see. Anyway I'm going to get going so I can call my mom and have her pick me up from school, but here's his picture.

Lataz!!

Tammy

Downtown in the level 1 parking lot in the mall, there are 3 spirits that are still there. One is of a man who was murdered, another is of the woman who jumped from the 7th or I think the top floor into the fountain and another is of a little girl who was thrown into the fountain and drowned. Sometimes in the garage parking thing u can hear running water and screams. If you go there, you can hear stomping which usually the heavy stomps are the male, the lightest one with the running water and screams are of the 2 females. Tonight my friends, Sarah and Greg are going down there with me to contact them and find out what they are still there for. I know how to call out to spirits so that’s what we’re going to do. Last time we were down there it was me, Sarah, Mark and William and we were down there just to check it out again cuz Sarah had never been down there so I wanted to show it to her. I was calling out to them and I asked one of them to touch me or any one of us and they did. I’m not sure which one but I spread both arms out and only one arm felt a breeze, the other didn’t. I stood in one spot and called out “if you are here, stomp twice or three times” and they stomped 3 times. Upstairs above the garage, you can’t hear the cars. There are no bumps up on the 2nf or 3rd level parking. The bumps start on level 6 parking. Creepy much? The security doesn’t go there. Level 1 is employee parking. We’re going down tonight after the mall closes. Therefore all of the cars will be gone. Yea the mall is open til 9:30. we’re going at 9 to see if anything will change or if there aren’t as many cars there. I’m also going with Sarah to the cemetery tonight so she can see her best friend but the only problem is, is that she has to get permission to go into the cemetery. The spirits that reside there don’t let her in. so now I have to go with her to get permission. Not only that I have to cleanse Sarah’s house. I’m obsessed. J I like vampires too. I’m just your average weirdo.

Woot. You know you love it.

Brian is confusing me now. I was at his house last night and he was ignoring me the whole time. He had reasoning because his dad was there and he never sees his father. I can understand that. I wasn't all coherent anyway. I was so out of it! I was exhausted. Anyway...I had to leave at about 10:00 and he said he'd come downtstairs with me. We ended up taking the stairs. While going downstairs he was saying to me, "I'd kiss you goodnight but I don't want you to get a coldsore" and I was like, "Don't tease me like that. It's not cool." He was so confused as to how that was teasing me, and omg! He stopped dead in his tracks too and was like, "How is that teasing you?" IT JUST IS!!! Don't question me! LoL!

Anyway I'm in class so I gotta get ready to help my teacher out cuz I'm the Student Aide in here. Blah.

Laterz.

Tammy